Confessions of An Introvert…

I am an Introvert.

I live right on the edge of the bubble. Just outside of the excitement, of life happening at the moment. Peeking in like a desperate window shopper longingly gazing at a purchase she can’t afford to make. Envying the absolute delight in all of the faces inside of the coveted bubble.

I am an Introvert.

More often, I‘m caught between a fraught yearning of desperately desiring to experience life inside of the bubble and utter contentment of observing it from the outside. A constant struggle of feeling like I’ve missed out on the only opportunity to fully be alive and another chance to grab life by the wheels is just around the corner. An optimist and pessimist in the same body. On the outside, I appear quiet, reserved and reflective. That’s how most view me and the label shy has been thrust upon me more times that I can recall. The revelation here is that this couldn’t be further from the truth about the real me. The shy label is only armor, armor that protects my rich inner world of a constant stream of loud thoughts, an imagination that floats to unimaginable heights for days even weeks at a time and vivid color filled dreams of past and future life. And while my exterior expression may communicate I have nothing to speak about, my mind is playing like a tape recorder on fast forward all of the time. Much of my teenage life I spent in angst and while this is normal teenage woes, for me it was because I wanted to accept the shy label, I thought it was befitting. True, I didn’t talk much, striking up conversations with strangers and friends alike caused anxiety. Instead of conquering my teenage angst, my worries only advanced into deeper roots as I developed into an adult. I spent years attempting to outgrow the shy label, struggling to be more assertive, more open to life, more social, all the while fighting against the grain of who I was originally created to be.

Again, always just outside of the bubble.

A traumatic experience forced me into therapy a few years ago, extensive therapy, where I had no choice but to face my nightmares alone. And speaking of alone, I oft wondered why I so cherished, essentially thrive at times when I find myself there. I spent years convincing myself something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t normal, like everyone else. Therapy, good therapy, gently places a mirror in your hand and lovingly forces you to stare at your reflection. At your insecurities and fears and again lovingly pushes you to embrace all of it. And in the accepting, the false layers began to peel away until you are stripped down to your true core. In all my getting, I got an understanding of me, of my introverted nature. I’m learning about self-care, what it consists of and how it relates to me. I’m learning to unleash the creative inside of me, instead of hiding her, allowing her to breathe and live. I’m learning the endless stories, fantasies inside of my head can actually be turned into something magical once my fingers hit the keyboard. I’m learning music, an impromptu solo dance party, an uninterrupted walk in the park, a glance into the blue sky on a busy day are like white blood cells fighting foreign substances attempting to invade my soul. I’m learning to pull all the way back after a really people intensive, environmentally stimulating work day in order to recharge. I’m learning to say no when I don’t possess the desire to say yes and not to accept social invitations out of guilt. I’m learning I cannot give of myself if my tank is empty and refueling requires alone time. I’m learning not to fear the unexpected waves of creativity, which usually involve a tsumani of intense emotional vulnerability, but instead allow it to swallow me, get still and just create. I’m learning mistakes are not fatal but directional and purposeful, and they are needed in any growth process. I’m learning that I am me and me, fatally flawed but gracefully forgiven, is enough.

I am Enough.

I am an Introvert.

And I’m finally living my truth.


And I didn’t even Climax…

Shock and awe isn’t a new tactic in the fashion world. In fact, shock and awe is the axis at which the planet of fashion revolves around. This is especially true concerning the rise and fall of a creative or an artistic director of any well-known establishment, house or label. In the spring of 2011, fashion headlines everywhere ran with the story of Christophe Decarnin parting ways, after only five years, with the luxurious house of Balmain. The aftermath of that colossal earthquake news was his replacement, Olivier Rousteing. A young, fresh faced twenty something year kid who spent a few years assisting Decarnin. A virtual unknown. And the universe buzzed. Would Rousteing triumphantly rise to the occasion or would he fail? Would he push the label farther than Decarnin or send it plummeting to its death? So many questions, doubts and fears. But in his short stint at Balmain, Rousteing has managed to surprisingly prove most of his critics wrong. He not only has kept the label afloat but assisted with its continued rise in popularity with the hot, young and rich crowd. And unlike another young designer*, suddenly thrust into a gigantic pair of shoes at Balenciaga, Rousteing found his footing instantly and silently, gained the necessary momentum needed to push Balmain into a dominating and influential position. His creative approach, a cautious mixture of preserving the house’s decadent aesthetic and Decarnin’s flamboyant exuberance was an instantaneous hit. And like Sarah Burton, Rousteing was unofficially crowned the Midas of fashion, turning everything he touched into gold. (Burton was named creative director at Alexander McQueen in May of 2010, after the designer’s tragic death)

Fast forward to Paris Fashion Week. On September 25, 2014 the fashion crowd and critics gathered, eagerly awaiting the golden boy’s latest sensation, his spring Pret-a-Porter 2015 collection. Heavily influenced by pop culture and the red carpet sirens he frequently dresses, Rousteing’s most recent work is…dismal and unoriginal. There was no brilliance. No boldness. No opulence. From the sleek bondage influenced pieces, the overexposed body parts, to the impeccable tailoring, the runway told a tale of an unexcitable story. It read boring, had a sort of rushed assembled-like quality and appeared as though he designed it for a lone individual more or less, not for the masses. He is quoted saying the influential muse behind his spring collection is pop starlet Rihanna and while there is no harm in having an inspirational figure as muse, perhaps Rousteing should have put more thought into using her as a creative point of origin rather than the finality as the birth of his collection. In the September issue of US Harper’s Bazaar, he said, “I think fashion is like sex…when you do the show, that’s the orgasm.” Well sir, if the Paris show was our infamous romp in the sack, I am one (of many) dissatisfied lover.

 *Next post, I’ll talk about Alexander Wang’s spring collection at Balenciaga!



For more of the collection, check out!







Fall Season: How to transition Your style

The last day of summer was marked as September 21st. Ah summer, au revior…so long! Cooler temps prevail with less humidity (a plus for us natural gals). A change in clothing selections and though it isn’t cold enough to brake out heavier layered pieces, you can seamlessly transition your style for the fall season!


1. Amp up any outfit with a chic scarf or light cardigan.

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2. Add tights and a closed toe pair of shoes to your favorite summer dress or shorts.

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3. Throw on a motorcycle jacket over your favorite summer blouse or crop top.

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4. Consider putting classic fall colors with light summer ones for an interesting combo.

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5. Add a pair of riding boots to your look.

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If you aren’t sure you have some of the items, do a closet purge! Store your summer items away, the ones you know you aren’t going to be wearing. If you are starting fresh with your fall wardrobe, these basic items can be your foundation pieces. Happy findings!














Food for the Fashion Soul

In honor of the start of fashion week (full schedule of shows here), I thought it would be a great idea to talk about fashion documentaries.  Being that I am a lover of history…Fashion history (yes I’m a nerd) and love indulging in a great documentary, my curiosity lies in learning the beginning of a thing, whether it is a house, magazine or designer. So here are my top favorite fashion documentaries (in no particular order):

dv1. The Eye has to Travel, Diana Vreeland 2012
I’ve mentioned the great editor/fabulous fashion icon Diana Vreeland in another post. I love her, simple as that. Known as the “Empress of Fashion”, the movie documents her illustrious career, undeniable influence in the world of fashion and a peek inside of her personal life. If you graze or devour Harper’s Bazaar or Vogue magazines, you should definitely check this one out.


Sept      2. The September Issue, 2009
As you guessed, the doc is all about Vogue magazine’s 2007 September issue, the biggest (sometimes 500 pages!) issue of the year. Countless established and young designers dream of getting on those pages and Wintour does not make it easy. The doc goes behind the scenes and details the steps involved in getting the issue to print. There are note worthy appearances of heavy hitters in fashion: Grace Coddington (read her memoir!), Oscar de la Renta, Karl Lagerfeld, John Galliano (I still consider him a heavy hitter). Models, photographers, stylists, editors and movie stars all color the timeless documentary.


val3. Valentino: the Last Emperor, 2009
Beautifully shot and told, this is the story of the life and times of Valentino Garavani, Italian fashion designer. Intimate and vivid, the viewer gets a peek of the prestigious man of the hour and the remarkable career he has led.  It’s Valentino…enough said. If you are looking for inspiration, look no further!


Verailles      4. Versailles ’73: American Runway Revolution, 2012

The ultimate showdown between the well established giants of the fashion universe (at that time) and the little known, often discounted American ready to wear designers.  The iconic runway show took place at the grandiose Versailles Palace and featured show stealing African American beauty Pat Cleveland.  The American designs wowed their competition earing respect and a play among fashion royalty.  The more experienced French team comprised of Hubert de Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Dior, Pierre Cardin and Emanuel Ungaro were powerhouses and considered the leaders of couture fashion.  The less known American team was represented by Anne Klein, Oscar de la Renta, Halston, Bill Blass and Stephen Burrows. The rockstar competition changed the face of American fashion and the use of African American models forever.

Honorable Mentions (worth watching if you have the opportunity):

Bill  Bill Cunningham New York


Ultrasuede In Search of Halston


Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s

Designer Spotlight: Lorena Sarbu

       sarbu“Imagine if Zuhair Murad and Marchesa had a baby with a Versace flair? You would get Lorena Sarbu!”—The Provocative Eye

Meet the modern Elizabeth Taylor of fashion, Lorena Sarbu. Watching (and tweeting/IG) the live coverage of the Emmy’s red carpet last week, I caught a glimpse of Lauren Parsekian (Breaking Bad’s Aaron Paul’s wife) and immediately l-o-v-e-d her dress. A quick web search led me to the fashion designer’s personal site. The Romanian born beauty studied design at the Intermational Academy of Design & Technology and at FIDM in Los Angeles. A childhood filled with rich influential European culture, architect and art, Sarbu presented her first collection in 2009 and recently relocated from New York to Los Angeles in 2013. A dressmaker at heart, she began creating designs for her dolls from her mother’s clothing and although we know a doll’s size proportion is not to be compared to women, Sarbu is a master at tailoring and intricate detailing.  With exquisite craftsmanship, vibrant colors and beautiful fabrics that pay tribute to old world glamour and elegance, she transforms the ordinary into extraordinary with each design. It’s no surprise Hollywood and musical starlets in the likes of Emma Stone, Hayden Panettiere, Carrie Underwood, Ariel Winter, Britney Spears have all been spotted donning an original couture design of Sarbu. For more of her stunning evening wear, please visit


Lorena Sarbu is one to watch!



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Mood Board: The Golden Girls: the Original SATC

Thank you for being a friend….

   The Golden Girls, a television sitcom, aired from the mid 1980s to early 1990s.  The wildly successful, feel good comedy gave us a peak inside the lives of four senior women living vibrantly and without apology.  But what I love the most of the beloved sitcom is the costume (FASHION)!  Strictly 80s, done with flair and style that ruled the decade.  As I watched a vintage episode one night with scene stealing vixen Blanche (Rue McClanahan), I wondered if the sitcom had inspired women of the 80s to live fearlessly and fashionably the way Sex and The City had done for my generation.  After all, the Girls are the original SATC. Yes, I know it sounds strange but let’s take an investigative look.

Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur): Miranda Hobbs, Esq.

Dorothy was known for her serious no nonsense practical personality, quick dry wit, and an over all brainiac.  And like her personality, her clothing reflected power: shoulder pads and pantsuits, scarves and layers, menswear feminized was the staple wardrobe of Dorothy.  Definitely a vintage Miranda Hobbs.

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Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan): Samantha Jones

Blanche was a widower liberated in her golden years.  Unabashedly in her sexual prowess, Blanche dated and disposed of men as she pleased.  All while looking fabulous: vibrant colors, seductively clinging dresses, on trend attire, costumes for any and every occasion are what composed her closet.  Samantha Jones is Blanche reincarnated.

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Rose Nylund (Betty White): Charlotte York

Rose Nylund was the classic romantic of the group, she was feminine, lady like and always dreaming of goodness. Pure with a untainted soul, Rose’s fashions reflected her farm upbringing with an Elizabeth Taylor twist.  Monochromatic suits, classic cuts and hues with defined a waistline, perfectly coiffed hair and manicured, Rose is the Charlotte York of the group.

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Now I know what should come next, where’s the Carrie Bradshaw of the group? She was the main character, the fashion muse, the focus of SATC.  Certainly it could not be the last remaining character Sophia Petrillo, portrayed by Estelle Getty?? No. I would like to propose each character from the Golden Girls had Carrie like characteristics. Dorothy’s dry wit, Blanche’s risk taking behavior, Rose’s dreamy goodness and Sophia’s adaptation for survival were all possessed by our main heroine Carrie Bradshaw.  I’d like to think the gorgeous ladies of the 80s found strength, courage and a zest for life in the Golden Girls like we found in the gals of SATC.  And the fashion, of course.  Don’t forget the fashion!

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Monday Inspiration: Diana Vreeland




“Vogue always did stand for people’s lives. I mean, a new dress doesn’t get you anywhere; it’s the life you’re living in the dress, and the sort of life you had lived before, and what you will do in it later.”—Diana Vreeland


Anna Wintour’s predecessor knew a thing or two about life, fashion and living.  Responsible for taking Harper’s Bazaar and Vogue into mainstream publication and popularizing the circulation of the fashion magazine across the globe, Vreeland was known for fearlessly speaking her unedited thoughts aloud.  What I really admire about her, though, is her zest for living.  Instead of complaining about the wrongs in life, she set out to create the life she wanted to live.  Vreeland spent every moment of the day living, not over analyzing or allowing fear to keep her from taking in each moment with a fresh perspective.  She saw the challenges of life and business as opportunities to express her best and most highest self.  At times, her solutions were received well and highly praised and at other times she fell flat on her face.  But she wasn’t afraid of the fall nor did she allow the possibility of falling keep her from trying.  This is true inspiration to me.  To live life in such a way that you are fully present and grateful in each moment.  Allowing these to open the door to your passions and creativity.  Then maybe we won’t despise Mondays so much but instead see the day as a new possibility for a new beginning to a new creative moment.  Mondays? Yes, I’m starting to look forward to it just a wee bit more…


Happy Monday Everyone!

P.S. If you are a fan of fashion and Vreeland, check out the documentary, The Eye has to Travel!